[ Taichi doesn't really understand what cookies are, so he doesn't hone in on Zuko's question either.
The continuity in this flick isn't great, because in about 10 seconds all the oil is gone in one shot, then appears again in the next. As one of them leans the other one back to try to push him onto the ground to top, the bottom one shoves him off and the last of the armor falls off. Lord Hardlog, who had been trying to top, stands with a haughty laugh and finally takes his helmet off, a golden mane of luscious romance-novel-esque locks falling down to his butt.
"Let us be bare then, the true way of men!"
"I need no protection to take you, my lord! I, Sir Buck Drillings, will be the one to fill the hole in your heart, and your body!"
"Your spirit is brave, but I am not called Lord Hardlog for nothing. My noble lineage's reach will make you scream."
Sir Drillings removes his helmet too now and his short, dark, curly hair looks a little like Justin Timberlake if he was a brunette. The drapes match the curtains, and the curtains surround a hefty and thick, hard dick. Hardlog's is not as girthy and appears to be hairless despite his long head hair, but is a monstrous near 11 inch "hard log" indeed. ]
[ Zuko's just about sputtering at the question, his eyes growing wide and concerned looking. That's— bigger than it should be, too big for his own comfort, and he's not even imagining taking it up his ass. Just to look at, it's too big. It's definitely bigger than his own. He's not sure how to feel about that. ]
[ Taichi, who had been comfortably manspreading in the bean bag, suddenly closes his legs and clenches his butt cheeks.]
Those aren't gonna fit! There's no way! My butt hurts thinking about it!
[ They're now engaged in an epic wrestling battle in the mud now (what was the point of the oil before?) Struggling for dominance as they kiss and fight over who gets to top until Sir Buck end up with a dick down his throat somehow? It's a very sudden cut with like no lead up. ]
[ Zuko grimaces when Sir Buck chokes on Lord Hardlog's hardlog. This was all so... inelegant. Unromantic. He likes rough sex as much as the next guy, but... wow, the pacing was just unpredictable to him. He wouldn't like a surprise blowjob in this sense, not on that end. ]
...H-Have you ever, um—
[ "Done that?" He gestures vaguely, ever so subtly, at the TV with his chin, glancing from the deepthroating pair to poor Taichi with his tail between his legs in his comfy beanbag. ]
[ At least with the blowing begun, that seems to be the focus for now instead of any more sudden changes to the scene. They're both very much into it, and the hard log is becoming so wet it might be classified as driftwood soon. Taichi is watching, his face pink until Zuko asks him that-- then it turns red.]
No way, no way! Not like that-- I mean, Hikaru told me not to show anyone I could do it with a hot dog, and I did it to his fingers, but not-- I've never seen his "Hard log."
[ Not even in the bath...! He looks shocked suddenly ]
What if it's as big as theirs? Hikaru is rich and tall and hot, if anyone can grow ones that big it would be the Hitachiin brothers!
Taichi! Don't ask me that?! I'm not tryna sit here and think about Hikaru's— about Hikaru, while watching this! Or Kaoru! Jeez...
[ Oh, great, now his face is pink, too. Thanks, buddy. Zuko got a fuller answer than he'd expected. There's a part of him that wants to ask about the hotdog, and the fingers — what the hell are they doing if not having sex?! But there are many more convincing parts of him that don't want to know about the hotdogs or the fingers... ]
[ They're new to Taichi too. He's not the biggest prude he knows, but he's pretty sure this is a little advanced for him. But despite balking at the act itself, Taichi at least seems to be less concerned about that one... ]
There's no way Hikaru will want that, he doesn't even like putting mustard on his food.
It doesn't look like he's gagging or anything.... Maybe there's a way to like, super-clean..? I just kind of swish it up there with some soap and water and rub, am I doing it wrong?!
[ Because there's no way that someone would be licking that if it wasn't clean, right?! He's with Zuko on this one! taichi's not like top-tier cleanliness guru but he's not going to go sticking his tongue up a bum. And now he's worried he should've been cleaning his bum differently, but it's not like anyone teaches you that part??? ]
[ You're going to kill him, Taichi. Zuko's survived a murderous father, a maniac sister, countless battles against the Avatar and his prodigy warrior friends, a gang of pirate's explosive assassination attempt, three weeks castaway at sea afloat a piece of driftwood with no food or water, a fucking direct lightning strike twice, and managed to not be eaten by dragons, but this was going to kill him. ]
I bet if you're 18 you can go into the adult stores. I saw one that just had an eggplant emoji for the name and I tried to enter but it wouldn't let me. That's gotta be where all the sex magic is...
[ As Taichi's ruminating, there's a cumshot. All over the top of Buck's head and face as he pulls back, licking his lips. "A delicious feast. You have spilled your seed first, Hardlog, it is my victory. Now get on your knees."
What a role reversal!! Taichi hadn't expected that, and he's pretty sure the concept of switching didn't exist back in 2002. But Hardlog's on all fours now and getting his ass slapped over and over and Taichi is fascinated. ]
Is it.. Hikaru's going to want to be on top right? So this kind of switching thing is probably out, even if it's a surprise?
[ That gives Zuko even more cause to blush and sputter, but he wants to be sensitive still... ]
I, um— I don't know... You shouldn't rule it out if it's something you wanna try... I mean, um— gay girls switch who's in charge, right? And Hikaru likes watching gay girls. So? Maybe he'd want to try switching, too...?
[ His voice is dripping in uncertainty, and he may or may not have just spilled the beans on his friend's innocent lesbian porn fetish, but it is what it is. Here he is, trying to help, trying to be empathetic, trying to play it cool, when he's feeling far from it... But he's being a good sport. ]
[ Oh, god, Taichi, way to put him on the spot. It's a good thing Taichi isn't a combatant of any sort because he knows better than anyone, it seems, how to disarm Zuko. ]
N-No, no! I don't think he wants that from you, I mean, he— that's just the porn he likes! He told me he likes watching videos of gay girls! I don't get it!
But if they're gay, that means they wouldn't be interested in Hikaru, right? So why fantasize about people who don't want you? How can he imagine himself that way?
[ This is more clarifying about Zuko than it is about Hikaru... He's not helpful. ]
NOT SAFE FOR WORK HAHAHAHA
The continuity in this flick isn't great, because in about 10 seconds all the oil is gone in one shot, then appears again in the next. As one of them leans the other one back to try to push him onto the ground to top, the bottom one shoves him off and the last of the armor falls off. Lord Hardlog, who had been trying to top, stands with a haughty laugh and finally takes his helmet off, a golden mane of luscious romance-novel-esque locks falling down to his butt.
"Let us be bare then, the true way of men!"
"I need no protection to take you, my lord! I, Sir Buck Drillings, will be the one to fill the hole in your heart, and your body!"
"Your spirit is brave, but I am not called Lord Hardlog for nothing. My noble lineage's reach will make you scream."
Sir Drillings removes his helmet too now and his short, dark, curly hair looks a little like Justin Timberlake if he was a brunette. The drapes match the curtains, and the curtains surround a hefty and thick, hard dick. Hardlog's is not as girthy and appears to be hairless despite his long head hair, but is a monstrous near 11 inch "hard log" indeed. ]
A-Are those normal.. sizes..?
[ Taichi suddenly feels small, haha... ]
fewuiahjkn.qaem, you <3
[ Zuko's just about sputtering at the question, his eyes growing wide and concerned looking. That's— bigger than it should be, too big for his own comfort, and he's not even imagining taking it up his ass. Just to look at, it's too big. It's definitely bigger than his own. He's not sure how to feel about that. ]
I don't— know— no? No. I wanna say no.
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[ Taichi, who had been comfortably manspreading in the bean bag, suddenly closes his legs and clenches his butt cheeks.]
Those aren't gonna fit! There's no way! My butt hurts thinking about it!
[ They're now engaged in an epic wrestling battle in the mud now (what was the point of the oil before?) Struggling for dominance as they kiss and fight over who gets to top until Sir Buck end up with a dick down his throat somehow? It's a very sudden cut with like no lead up. ]
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[ Zuko grimaces when Sir Buck chokes on Lord Hardlog's hardlog. This was all so... inelegant. Unromantic. He likes rough sex as much as the next guy, but... wow, the pacing was just unpredictable to him. He wouldn't like a surprise blowjob in this sense, not on that end. ]
...H-Have you ever, um—
[ "Done that?" He gestures vaguely, ever so subtly, at the TV with his chin, glancing from the deepthroating pair to poor Taichi with his tail between his legs in his comfy beanbag. ]
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No way, no way! Not like that-- I mean, Hikaru told me not to show anyone I could do it with a hot dog, and I did it to his fingers, but not-- I've never seen his "Hard log."
[ Not even in the bath...! He looks shocked suddenly ]
What if it's as big as theirs? Hikaru is rich and tall and hot, if anyone can grow ones that big it would be the Hitachiin brothers!
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[ Oh, great, now his face is pink, too. Thanks, buddy. Zuko got a fuller answer than he'd expected. There's a part of him that wants to ask about the hotdog, and the fingers — what the hell are they doing if not having sex?! But there are many more convincing parts of him that don't want to know about the hotdogs or the fingers... ]
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Why are you thinking about Kaoru's?!
[ Ignoring the video now, Taichi sits up and looks very seriously into Zuko's eyes. ]
Z-Zucchan, do you like Kaoru-san?! He so bossy and demanding, is that your taste?!
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[ Zuko is flummoxed. And his failure at words is not making a convincing case. He's making this seem more suspicious than it is. ]
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[ He's not sure if what he's saying makes sense to anyone but him, but he's pretty sure it does. ]
--W-Wait, he didn't tell me anything! That means there's something to tell!? You are into him!
[ GASP ]
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[ griowjefkls;\ ]
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[ Whoa, the guy just switched from deep throating to dipping down to rim the guy and turn the tables on who's in charge and Taichi's eyes go wide. ]
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Wha— Men do that, too?! But it's his–! You know!
[ Asshole. Zuko, just use your words. He's on board with eating out, but rimjobs are a new concept to the poor prince. ]
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There's no way Hikaru will want that, he doesn't even like putting mustard on his food.
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[ He looks very concerned, watching on anyway. ]
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[ Because there's no way that someone would be licking that if it wasn't clean, right?! He's with Zuko on this one! taichi's not like top-tier cleanliness guru but he's not going to go sticking his tongue up a bum. And now he's worried he should've been cleaning his bum differently, but it's not like anyone teaches you that part??? ]
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[ You're going to kill him, Taichi. Zuko's survived a murderous father, a maniac sister, countless battles against the Avatar and his prodigy warrior friends, a gang of pirate's explosive assassination attempt, three weeks castaway at sea afloat a piece of driftwood with no food or water, a fucking direct lightning strike
twice, and managed to not be eaten by dragons, but this was going to kill him. ]no subject
[ WAIT THAT'S IT!! Taichi sits up rather suddenly, like he's suddenly uncovered the truth about the universe. ]
I bet there's some kind of crazy sex magic for clean bums! Like Prismatica!
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I mean— probably... I guess...
[ He mutters, avoiding eye contact, but then finding looking at the screen even more overwhelming, so just looks to the ceiling awkwardly. ]
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I bet if you're 18 you can go into the adult stores. I saw one that just had an eggplant emoji for the name and I tried to enter but it wouldn't let me. That's gotta be where all the sex magic is...
[ As Taichi's ruminating, there's a cumshot. All over the top of Buck's head and face as he pulls back, licking his lips. "A delicious feast. You have spilled your seed first, Hardlog, it is my victory. Now get on your knees."
What a role reversal!! Taichi hadn't expected that, and he's pretty sure the concept of switching didn't exist back in 2002. But Hardlog's on all fours now and getting his ass slapped over and over and Taichi is fascinated. ]
Is it.. Hikaru's going to want to be on top right? So this kind of switching thing is probably out, even if it's a surprise?
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I, um— I don't know... You shouldn't rule it out if it's something you wanna try... I mean, um— gay girls switch who's in charge, right? And Hikaru likes watching gay girls. So? Maybe he'd want to try switching, too...?
[ His voice is dripping in uncertainty, and he may or may not have just spilled the beans on his friend's innocent lesbian porn fetish, but it is what it is. Here he is, trying to help, trying to be empathetic, trying to play it cool, when he's feeling far from it... But he's being a good sport. ]
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What has Hikaru told you he's into!?
[ HE HAS HEARD NOTHING OF THIS. HE'S NOT A GAY GIRL, HE DOESN'T KNOW HOW THIS HELPS. ]
I make a cute enough girl if that's what he wants, but I don't think he wants that for me, so I need any other intel you have!
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N-No, no! I don't think he wants that from you, I mean, he— that's just the porn he likes! He told me he likes watching videos of gay girls! I don't get it!
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[ He grins sheepishly.. ] B-But, did he say anything else!?
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[ This is more clarifying about Zuko than it is about Hikaru... He's not helpful. ]
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[ who is gonna tell him ]
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