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[ It's a thought. It gives Zuko pause. And cause to grimace and blush. ]

I mean— probably... I guess...

[ He mutters, avoiding eye contact, but then finding looking at the screen even more overwhelming, so just looks to the ceiling awkwardly. ]

[ They're sure going at it, aren't they... ]

I bet if you're 18 you can go into the adult stores. I saw one that just had an eggplant emoji for the name and I tried to enter but it wouldn't let me. That's gotta be where all the sex magic is...

[ As Taichi's ruminating, there's a cumshot. All over the top of Buck's head and face as he pulls back, licking his lips. "A delicious feast. You have spilled your seed first, Hardlog, it is my victory. Now get on your knees."

What a role reversal!! Taichi hadn't expected that, and he's pretty sure the concept of switching didn't exist back in 2002. But Hardlog's on all fours now and getting his ass slapped over and over and Taichi is fascinated. ]

Is it.. Hikaru's going to want to be on top right? So this kind of switching thing is probably out, even if it's a surprise?

[ That gives Zuko even more cause to blush and sputter, but he wants to be sensitive still... ]

I, um— I don't know... You shouldn't rule it out if it's something you wanna try... I mean, um— gay girls switch who's in charge, right? And Hikaru likes watching gay girls. So? Maybe he'd want to try switching, too...?

[ His voice is dripping in uncertainty, and he may or may not have just spilled the beans on his friend's innocent lesbian porn fetish, but it is what it is. Here he is, trying to help, trying to be empathetic, trying to play it cool, when he's feeling far from it... But he's being a good sport. ]

[ Okay, he's getting up off his bean bag and walking on his knees over to Zuko to put his hands on his shoulders. ]

What has Hikaru told you he's into!?

[ HE HAS HEARD NOTHING OF THIS. HE'S NOT A GAY GIRL, HE DOESN'T KNOW HOW THIS HELPS. ]

I make a cute enough girl if that's what he wants, but I don't think he wants that for me, so I need any other intel you have!

[ Oh, god, Taichi, way to put him on the spot. It's a good thing Taichi isn't a combatant of any sort because he knows better than anyone, it seems, how to disarm Zuko. ]

N-No, no! I don't think he wants that from you, I mean, he— that's just the porn he likes! He told me he likes watching videos of gay girls! I don't get it!

Well girls are super cute, it's just like- more girls! What's not to get?

[ He grins sheepishly.. ] B-But, did he say anything else!?

But if they're gay, that means they wouldn't be interested in Hikaru, right? So why fantasize about people who don't want you? How can he imagine himself that way?

[ This is more clarifying about Zuko than it is about Hikaru... He's not helpful. ]

I'm straight but I'm interested in Hikaru.

[ who is gonna tell him ]

But that's— Taichi. Doesn't that mean you're not straight...?

[ Zuko. Zuko will tell him. Zuko is perhaps the least qualified person to tell him but he will tell him. ]

I'm not gay though.

[ ????????? ]

So? So you're somewhere in between.

[ He may not have the word for it, but he has an understanding he's come to that he feels pretty much makes sense, at least. ]

What, like a bisexual?

[ He knows the word it just.. hadn't occurred to him. He looks surprised. ]

Am I bi!?

I don't know?! Are you?!

[ And if you are, is he bi too...?! ]

Are YOU?!

[ Behind Taichi on screen, Buck is about to enter Hardlog, and Taichi is missing this because of his identity crisis. ]

I mean— No?! Sort of?! Maybe?! I-I don't know!

[ Who else would, Zuko? He can't fully focus on the question when there's this close-up shot going on over Taichi's shoulder on the television. Zuko's blanched, but just as quickly gains back a new color as he lost his: pink. Bright pink. ]

Oh! I guess that's okay. Take your time to discover yourself, Zucchan! I-- what?

[ What's with that face? Taichi turns around and gasps audibly, seeing the exact moment of entry. ]

Wait wait wait wait! How'd that go in so easily!?

[ He shoots a scowl at Taichi at that remark — "Take your time to discover yourself, Zucchan..." his ass, he's the one who's here to help Taichi embark on this journey of self-discovery, apparently! — but Taichi probably just misses it as he turns to the screen. Zuko's eyes drift back to the film at hand, face twisting uncomfortably as the knights begin grunting and getting hotter and heavier. He feels his own face growing hot and flushed, and he cannot believe himself that he's here doing this... ]

...Think it hurts?

[ He also can't believe he's also actually gotten absorbed in it enough to ask questions out loud, too. ]

I.. don't know? He doesn't look like he's in pain.

[ ...Quite the opposite, actually. Maybe a little strained, but as Taichi sits on he floor next to Zuko's bean bag, mesmerized by what's happening, he doesn't think that he looks like he's having a bad time. ]

If it hurt too much, people wouldn't do it, right?

I guess so, yeah.

[ Zuko's slowly also mesmerized, though still ill at ease, but indeed, they don't seem like they're having a bad time. ]

...Y'know— my first time, I thought it was gonna hurt. I'd heard it hurt! And that people scream! But— I guess it's only women...

[ As if on cue, the knight on bottom lets out a loud cry of passion all of a sudden. Zuko makes a face, glancing to Taichi awkwardly. ]

...Maybe not only women, I guess. But— yeah. I was expecting it to hurt, and it didn't... I mean, I haven't done anything with a guy, but— it probably can't feel that different, right?

What would hurt if it was with a girl? They're all soft and cute...

[ Genuine thought. And he's seen in porn, they get wet on their own!! ]

Guys don't even-- my butt's never been wet like that, how do you make that happen?

[ Because there's clearly some SLICKNESS going on right now, though he doesn't remember them carefully preparing or anything because it's a porn and that part is generally skipped... that's right, Taichi thinks his butt is supposed to get wet but he just doesn't know how to make it happen. Please teach him, Zuko-sensei. ]

It doesn't hurt, I know that now, I just—! H-Had the wrong idea...

[ He can feel his face growing hot. He hasn't actually talked with anyone about sex before ever since he'd finally had it. Not even really with the person he's had it with! It's a little nerve-wracking realizing that while he's watching Lord Hardlog enter Sir Buck or vice versa, he's really not that invested in their names... ]

Do you think it's— ...sweat? That makes it wet enough? Kinda gross...

[ He's trying, here, Taichi, he's really trying. ]

No way, that's too gross. I mean they look hot and heavy but that would smell bad right?

[ He's pretty sure swamp ass would not be romantic... A beat. ]

Maybe that's why some people are tops and some people are bottoms... It's not attractive to me but wet butt might be to Hikaru, since he's a natural "seme" type. It's that biological..?

[ Hardlog pulls Buck on top of him so the camera gets a good view of the dick entering his ass from the front pov while Taichi contemplates this seriously.]

Edited 2021-05-16 18:30 (UTC)

Wait— what do you mean? Isn't that to do with their personalities? If someone takes more control in sex or not... It's not biological! Is it?

[ Now he's mildly worried. He gets a text suddenly, startled by the ding and the buzz in his pants pocket. He shoots Taichi an uncomfortable look, fishes his phone out, makes an even more uncomfortable face at the phone, then at the TV, then at Taichi again, hurries a response, and sets it down hurriedly in his lap. This is not the occasion for him to be getting social calls. It shocks him into the reality of what they're doing, remembering again suddenly there are other people out in the real world who aren't watching porn and discussing if ass sweat substitutes lube and if there's a genetic reason for liking something like that, his eyes drawn back to the new point of view on the screen, and his face starts blushing again. This is the most unusual night he's had in a long time... Maybe not ever. But in a while. ]

I don't know!? [ Wait- ] Are you telling me you think I have a bottom personality!?

[ It's more of a whine than any outrage. Hikaru wants to top and Taichi doesn't mind at all, he's just happy to be here, but he didn't think that it was because it was part of his personality. What does personality have to do with whether or not he physically receives his bf or not!? ]

I don't know how you can check texts right now, I'd be embarrassed to say anything to anyone!

[ Zuko isn't anyone, though, he's a cool man of taste who gets it and is just as oblivious as Taichi is so they're on about the same level of embarrassment. ]

I dunno! What does that mean?! I don't take control in sex! Do I have a "bottom personality?!"

[ He's stressed by this question!!! And another text chime just makes him wriggle his face at the phone, glancing to the screen again uncomfortably. ]

I-It's fine, it's my sister... I told her I'm busy.

[ She didn't like that answer, but hey, Taichi hadn't met Azula yet and doesn't know how scary she is. He has no idea what an honor it is that Zuko should turn her down flat-out to stay by his side and support him through this very important emotional emergency and watch this porn. What a bro. ]

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