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It doesn't look like he's gagging or anything.... Maybe there's a way to like, super-clean..? I just kind of swish it up there with some soap and water and rub, am I doing it wrong?!

[ Because there's no way that someone would be licking that if it wasn't clean, right?! He's with Zuko on this one! taichi's not like top-tier cleanliness guru but he's not going to go sticking his tongue up a bum. And now he's worried he should've been cleaning his bum differently, but it's not like anyone teaches you that part??? ]

How the fuck would I know?!

[ You're going to kill him, Taichi. Zuko's survived a murderous father, a maniac sister, countless battles against the Avatar and his prodigy warrior friends, a gang of pirate's explosive assassination attempt, three weeks castaway at sea afloat a piece of driftwood with no food or water, a fucking direct lightning strike ~~twice~~, and managed to not be eaten by dragons, but this was going to kill him. ]

I'm double-checking my methods with yours, man! There's no way we're both doing it wrong!! They have to have some kind of special porn powers!

[ WAIT THAT'S IT!! Taichi sits up rather suddenly, like he's suddenly uncovered the truth about the universe. ]

I bet there's some kind of crazy sex magic for clean bums! Like Prismatica!

[ It's a thought. It gives Zuko pause. And cause to grimace and blush. ]

I mean— probably... I guess...

[ He mutters, avoiding eye contact, but then finding looking at the screen even more overwhelming, so just looks to the ceiling awkwardly. ]

[ They're sure going at it, aren't they... ]

I bet if you're 18 you can go into the adult stores. I saw one that just had an eggplant emoji for the name and I tried to enter but it wouldn't let me. That's gotta be where all the sex magic is...

[ As Taichi's ruminating, there's a cumshot. All over the top of Buck's head and face as he pulls back, licking his lips. "A delicious feast. You have spilled your seed first, Hardlog, it is my victory. Now get on your knees."

What a role reversal!! Taichi hadn't expected that, and he's pretty sure the concept of switching didn't exist back in 2002. But Hardlog's on all fours now and getting his ass slapped over and over and Taichi is fascinated. ]

Is it.. Hikaru's going to want to be on top right? So this kind of switching thing is probably out, even if it's a surprise?

[ That gives Zuko even more cause to blush and sputter, but he wants to be sensitive still... ]

I, um— I don't know... You shouldn't rule it out if it's something you wanna try... I mean, um— gay girls switch who's in charge, right? And Hikaru likes watching gay girls. So? Maybe he'd want to try switching, too...?

[ His voice is dripping in uncertainty, and he may or may not have just spilled the beans on his friend's innocent lesbian porn fetish, but it is what it is. Here he is, trying to help, trying to be empathetic, trying to play it cool, when he's feeling far from it... But he's being a good sport. ]

[ Okay, he's getting up off his bean bag and walking on his knees over to Zuko to put his hands on his shoulders. ]

What has Hikaru told you he's into!?

[ HE HAS HEARD NOTHING OF THIS. HE'S NOT A GAY GIRL, HE DOESN'T KNOW HOW THIS HELPS. ]

I make a cute enough girl if that's what he wants, but I don't think he wants that for me, so I need any other intel you have!

[ Oh, god, Taichi, way to put him on the spot. It's a good thing Taichi isn't a combatant of any sort because he knows better than anyone, it seems, how to disarm Zuko. ]

N-No, no! I don't think he wants that from you, I mean, he— that's just the porn he likes! He told me he likes watching videos of gay girls! I don't get it!

Well girls are super cute, it's just like- more girls! What's not to get?

[ He grins sheepishly.. ] B-But, did he say anything else!?

But if they're gay, that means they wouldn't be interested in Hikaru, right? So why fantasize about people who don't want you? How can he imagine himself that way?

[ This is more clarifying about Zuko than it is about Hikaru... He's not helpful. ]

I'm straight but I'm interested in Hikaru.

[ who is gonna tell him ]

But that's— Taichi. Doesn't that mean you're not straight...?

[ Zuko. Zuko will tell him. Zuko is perhaps the least qualified person to tell him but he will tell him. ]

I'm not gay though.

[ ????????? ]

So? So you're somewhere in between.

[ He may not have the word for it, but he has an understanding he's come to that he feels pretty much makes sense, at least. ]

What, like a bisexual?

[ He knows the word it just.. hadn't occurred to him. He looks surprised. ]

Am I bi!?

I don't know?! Are you?!

[ And if you are, is he bi too...?! ]

Are YOU?!

[ Behind Taichi on screen, Buck is about to enter Hardlog, and Taichi is missing this because of his identity crisis. ]

I mean— No?! Sort of?! Maybe?! I-I don't know!

[ Who else would, Zuko? He can't fully focus on the question when there's this close-up shot going on over Taichi's shoulder on the television. Zuko's blanched, but just as quickly gains back a new color as he lost his: pink. Bright pink. ]

Oh! I guess that's okay. Take your time to discover yourself, Zucchan! I-- what?

[ What's with that face? Taichi turns around and gasps audibly, seeing the exact moment of entry. ]

Wait wait wait wait! How'd that go in so easily!?

[ He shoots a scowl at Taichi at that remark — "Take your time to discover yourself, Zucchan..." his ass, he's the one who's here to help Taichi embark on this journey of self-discovery, apparently! — but Taichi probably just misses it as he turns to the screen. Zuko's eyes drift back to the film at hand, face twisting uncomfortably as the knights begin grunting and getting hotter and heavier. He feels his own face growing hot and flushed, and he cannot believe himself that he's here doing this... ]

...Think it hurts?

[ He also can't believe he's also actually gotten absorbed in it enough to ask questions out loud, too. ]

I.. don't know? He doesn't look like he's in pain.

[ ...Quite the opposite, actually. Maybe a little strained, but as Taichi sits on he floor next to Zuko's bean bag, mesmerized by what's happening, he doesn't think that he looks like he's having a bad time. ]

If it hurt too much, people wouldn't do it, right?

I guess so, yeah.

[ Zuko's slowly also mesmerized, though still ill at ease, but indeed, they don't seem like they're having a bad time. ]

...Y'know— my first time, I thought it was gonna hurt. I'd heard it hurt! And that people scream! But— I guess it's only women...

[ As if on cue, the knight on bottom lets out a loud cry of passion all of a sudden. Zuko makes a face, glancing to Taichi awkwardly. ]

...Maybe not only women, I guess. But— yeah. I was expecting it to hurt, and it didn't... I mean, I haven't done anything with a guy, but— it probably can't feel that different, right?

What would hurt if it was with a girl? They're all soft and cute...

[ Genuine thought. And he's seen in porn, they get wet on their own!! ]

Guys don't even-- my butt's never been wet like that, how do you make that happen?

[ Because there's clearly some SLICKNESS going on right now, though he doesn't remember them carefully preparing or anything because it's a porn and that part is generally skipped... that's right, Taichi thinks his butt is supposed to get wet but he just doesn't know how to make it happen. Please teach him, Zuko-sensei. ]

It doesn't hurt, I know that now, I just—! H-Had the wrong idea...

[ He can feel his face growing hot. He hasn't actually talked with anyone about sex before ever since he'd finally had it. Not even really with the person he's had it with! It's a little nerve-wracking realizing that while he's watching Lord Hardlog enter Sir Buck or vice versa, he's really not that invested in their names... ]

Do you think it's— ...sweat? That makes it wet enough? Kinda gross...

[ He's trying, here, Taichi, he's really trying. ]

No way, that's too gross. I mean they look hot and heavy but that would smell bad right?

[ He's pretty sure swamp ass would not be romantic... A beat. ]

Maybe that's why some people are tops and some people are bottoms... It's not attractive to me but wet butt might be to Hikaru, since he's a natural "seme" type. It's that biological..?

[ Hardlog pulls Buck on top of him so the camera gets a good view of the dick entering his ass from the front pov while Taichi contemplates this seriously.]

Edited 2021-05-16 18:30 (UTC)

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