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Him and Azula. So what? Azula doesn't like any of my friends.

[ Zuko's tone-deaf. He likes Gokudera. That's what matters to him. ]

"Got his head cut off?" By who? People's heads don't just get cut off...

There are other people you hang around, and I can almost bet you that they don't like me or even know who I am. And if I get to know them, they probably regret it.

[He's not trying to make Zuko like him any less, but just point out how he's lacking in the ability to make friends. He has no idea why Zuko likes him, but the guy is stubborn.]

I can't tell you that. [His reply is quick and firm, voice gentle in that he doesn't want Zuko to ask any more than that.]

What? Why? Don't say that! What about Katara, Katara healed you that time! And Uncle— [ Really, Zuko can't speak to what Iroh thinks of Gokudera. He stops short, but disguises it. ] Uncle wants us to be friends!

[ He's stubborn indeed. He likes Gokudera because he likes Gokudera. Anyone else's opinion has no bearing. Except maybe Iroh's, but Iroh is never so straight-talking... They have a complex friendship that needs extra consideration, after all. ]

You haven't met Sokka or Suki. I bet you'd get along with them great. Hikaru is just a fluke, and Azula— that's... just Azula.

[ "Just Azula," who punched Gokudera in the face and assaulted him, oh, sis. Zuko's determined to think of a friend who might like Gokudera, too, now, though. He hates hearing his friend so self-deprecating after all he's told him he went through today.

But he knows better than to pry and catches that tone's drift, and lets the skull question go. ]

Katara has never reached out to me via the network, or in person or anything of her own accord. You called on her to come and help me. That is not the basis of a friendship by any means. [Gokudera, don't be a hypocrite. It takes two to tango, and you should probably make SOME attempt to befriend Katara. He's met Sokka and did not like him, but then... Gokudera is not a friendly person.]

And your Uncle wants us to be friends, and we already are.

How do you know I haven't met them? Maybe I did, and they didn't like me. [He's being a bit stubborn, too.]

Azula would probably kill me with zero hesitation, then call it an accident.

Cuz I intentionally didn't mention your name to anyone after we fought! [ He's irritated by this stubbornness. But relates to it all the same, so can't be too bothered... ] To protect the Vongola! If they knew, they would've reached out! Sokka's trying to be Azula's friend, and believe me, you two would be friends before they would be!

[ He does not like the tone of this conversation, though. For as complex as their relationship is, Zuko doesn't have an ill word to speak about Gokudera. No matter what Azula or Hikaru or Iroh think. ]

If Azula wanted to kill you, she would have. She wanted to communicate.

So you just told her there was a guy you knew who needed medical attention? [Gokudera sees now that Zuko is entirely missing the point he's making, or he's just meeting him as stubbornly because he's determined to like him. Which is cool, really... but honestly, Gokudera's not been making new friends out of Zuko's. He should blame himself more, since he's not so gregarious.]

I appreciate that. Honestly, I do. But I'm pretty sure most of your friends don't like me. It's just an observation.

[And then he lets out a sudden bark of a laugh at the mention of Azula wanting to communicate. He continues their walk to the training grounds.]

Communicate... huh. She made a bunch of points about how I was trash, and in her way, and yours. It's okay. I'm used to that, so it doesn't bother me as much anymore, but I wouldn't call it just communication. I had to use shields to keep her from killing me.

Yeah. I told her you were my friend and important to me. That was enough.

[ He mumbles slightly toward the end, eyes darting to the side. This conversation makes him feel awkward. He's well aware his taste in company and judgment of character is sometimes questionable, and he secondguesses his own clarity of vision often... Without either his uncle or his sister to guide him, it's hard to be his own judge confidently. And now that they're both here? And neither of them like Gokudera? Well, he doesn't have confirmation of that from Iroh, but he's sure Iroh probably isn't thrilled about the whole mafia business. And Azula... Azula's just hated Gokudera from the start. Zuko didn't expect them to ever get along. In fact, he didn't really consider Gokudera getting along with his other friends much, either. All he cared about is that he got along with him. He wanted him to meet Uncle and Aang out of relevant orders of importance to understand one another, rather than purely eager to introduce a friend of a friend, like maybe most might. It wasn't about connecting people in his life so he could have one big happy family of friends. He was fine with his friendships as they were, even if many were rather separated. He's not a big group kind of guy. He prefers one-on-one conversation anyway; it's what he's known most, all his life. And he likes spending time with Gokudera. If Azula doesn't, or Hikaru, or whoever, then they don't have to. ]

...They just don't know you like I do. It doesn't matter.

[ His eyes find the ground as they walk. ]

As long as Azula never attacks you again, I don't care what she thinks of you.

[Gokudera isn't going to keep trying to convince Zuko that his friends don't like him. Katara hadn't reached out to him after healing him and he believes she'd just done it based off his relationship with Zuko. Why else would she care? It's not like he made a vivid impression on her.

Come to think of it, most days he keeps so much to himself that he doesn't make much of an impression on anyone. Zuko came to him without the bomber ever reaching out to him. It wasn't a great first meeting, but it's basis sounded strong. But... also like neither of them intended to meet and befriend the other. They were forced to hug for a while or something, right?]

No one does, Zuko.

[And he thinks of all the stress he's unloaded, and how they just played the piano together. It's a startling realization, but he has to voice it...]

Not even the Tenth or Yamamoto.

[Feel awkward all you want, Zuko.]

It feels inevitable.

[ That remark draws an amazed look from Zuko, who looks back up at Gokudera startled by the sentiment. He knows him better than the Tenth or Yamamoto? No way. It makes him realize — Gokudera knows him better than any of his friends from home, too... even the Avatar. It earns a silence, chewing over how to respond to the accusation about Azula inevitably attacking him again, too. That unnerves him, and makes him angry all anew at the fire princess for having gone over his head like that back then. He watches his feet as they walk once more, startled expression softening into a scowl. ]

...Azula knows if she attacks you again, it will damage her relationship with me. She doesn't want that. I did a poor job explaining to her what happened that night we fought. She tended my wounds when I got home. But we've talked about it more than once. She knows how important you are to me, even if she doesn't like it. I barely talked to her for well over a week after that, I was so mad. ...She doesn't want that.

[He never told Tsuna or Yamamoto about his mother and the family drama surrounding her, or about the old man that looked after him while he was homeless. Hell, neither his boss or partner know he looked after strays on the streets, or about so much concerning his life on Amoi. Zuko is keeping a lot of precious things and doesn’t even know it. He does now, though, as startling as it clearly seems.

The accusation is also an assumption. Gokudera knows Azula doesn’t like him and would likely tug on his collar if given the opportunity, and be able to see what it does to him. The bomber wonders if she would stop, or if she would play with that obvious weakness.]

And if she were to accidentally take my head off and I came back to life...?

[He has no idea whether or not he would come back, or if Azula would actually tug at his collar that much, even with just the intention to make him uncomfortable. Any innocent person could do it and not mean to kill him. It’s a huge weakness, this stupid collar on his neck.]

If she what...? What are you talking about?

[ Zuko's affronted just hearing the idea raised. He doesn't know all about this crazy collar yet. And he doesn't see how someone can accidentally behead someone... Let alone, still unnerved by this talk of resurrection like this. Did he die before from beheading, he wonders, is that where this is coming from?! ]

Edited 2021-05-18 18:14 (UTC)

Oh the collar that was put on me, to mark me as property on Amoi. Until Yamamoto deactivates it-

[Gokudera stops and turns to face Zuko, then reached up and slips his fingers under the leather of the collar about his neck. He presses at it and tugs it roughly as if trying to take it off. It starts to tighten, a light beneath it glowing red. Zuko may be able to smell hair burning, and then Gokudera let’s it go. It starts to loosen.]

...It can't come off? What happens if you try to break it off?

[ His first thought. ]

[Gokudera blinks at him in honest disbelief, then motions for Zuko to come closer. He tugs again and it tightens, then he takes his hands and tries to pull, and it tightens again. Just further illustrating that it cannot and will not come off.]

I used to work at a clinic and we helped remove pet rings from ex-pets. If it was a ring on a finger, the finger came off, and if it was an earring, then the ear came off. A bracelet, and the hand came off. Tiny, violent explosions that severed whatever the ring was attached to. I would use my flames to dumb and heal the patients there.

So... if you try to break the collar.. [he turns his hand. Welcoming Zuko to put two and two together.]

[ Zuko stops in his tracks as Gokudera goes on, standing there staring after the boy with a sick look of shock and confusion and discernment on his face — maybe a mix of disgust in there... What a practice... ]

...Why would Yamamoto do that to you...

[ He says it somewhat quietly, barely above a whisper by accident. It's a lot for him to hear. He's not sure he fully understands, but if only Yamamoto can take it off, does that mean that he's the one who put it on him there in the first place...? Zuko tries not to jump the gun in his reaction, but if so — he'd be furious, and re-evaluating his perception of the baseball player drastically. ]

[Gokudera rubs at his neck carefully, the skin raw and obviously irritated by the heat and tension that had been around it. He glares at Zuko’s words, but won’t be honestly angry at his friend. Those words are said out of ignorance and because he cares.]

Let me say again and elaborate something... that the only way I could live in the city of Tanagura, where Elites lived was to sell myself as a pet. The Tenth and Yamamoto would both be Elite, and I would have to live in the slums of Midas and be jailed, drugged and questioned for so much as touching them in a world focused on sex as a means to make money and survive.

[He clears his throat.]

I requested that he accept me as his pet so that I could see the Tenth and ensure his safety and well-being. The baseball idiot never used the collar on me, and in the last world I was on, he deactivated it. Seems traveling through time and space has made it malfunction.

...But why'd he put it there — I don't understand!

[ He looks upset, increasingly. He doesn't mean to come across as angry — that's just his natural air, but in fact, he's heartbroken for Gokudera with every detail that's been shared, hearing this again at more length. He doesn't like this. It sounds like agony. Even if there were multiple different Yamamoto's, conceptually they can all be held accountable as the potential of one entity, right...? It's all the same person still. ]

I wanted it there. Visible so no one would fucking touch me aside from him! [And also he was pretty interested in pet play, but isn’t going to mention that.]

Stop saying it like it’s his fault! I decided to be his pet. I sold myself. I had the collar picked out and wanted everyone to see that I was not just some... trash they could pick up to make money off of!

[ Zuko gives Gokudera an odd lingering look, but understands more at last, he feels, and softens himself. ]

I guess ...it would never have been a problem to want to take it off in any situation but this, huh... If you were to be married or whatever.

[ He doesn't mean "or whatever" to sound as dismissive as he means it to sound all-inclusive of these various experiences the bomber's gone through. It's a lot. ]

[Gokudera won't stand for any situation that makes Yamamoto out to be the bad guy. Amoi pushed the bomber clearly to a breaking point and he bowed to it.]

Even if we were married in Amoi, I would still be his pet and need to wear the Pet Ring to maintain that relationship. Not for our sake, obviously, but because I wouldn't be allowed to stay with him if I weren't his property. On Anchor, he took it off as my dying request. It helped me come back from the dead, I think...

Anyways, on this world, it's not going to be so easy to have it removed. Yamamoto doesn't know anything about it. I haven't told him. Hell... I can't even talk to him.

[And so he turns to keep going, not bothered by anything dismissive in words or tone. Usually, he'd be more sensitive, but he's too mentally tired. He just wants to train and do something that will wear him out physically that he'll have control over.]

[ Zuko follows along, though maybe a step behind him, a little less gassed up as his thoughts on these matters swirl, trying to come to grips with Gokudera's traumas quietly. ]

Do you want him to take it off...?

[ It's an odd question, but a valid one. ]

No. I just want it deactivated. It's not that I mind wearing it, but I don't like what it does to me.

[And the dangers of his pet ring could put him in some very dangerous situations. He's walking around with a weak point right out in the open. A fatal weakness, and even unprovoked, it still keeps distracting him. He's expecting he won't get much sleep until the collar is deactivated, or if he has the baseball idiot take it off.]

What's it do, exactly? Beyond being... uh... a risk.

[ He's still uncomfortable imagining Gokudera being beheaded in any way. It's an unnerving cherry on top of this traumatic cake he's been served. ]

[Oh there are so many layers to this trauma cake that it may be accurate to call it a parfait.]

Pet rings are used for more than marking property.

[They're at the training grounds now, which makes this conversation feel a lot less public.]

They're used to train pets into behaving. Takeshi never used my collar for those purposes, but with activated voice commands, could issue me pain or pleasure respectively, and in varying degrees. Now it just... does it whenever for whatever reason even though he only set up the pain command with a phrase he'll never say.

[Unless it were a doppelganger of his, or someone with his voice... probably.]

Oh. ...But now it's malfunctioning and just sending random pain commands? Can't you tell him that you can't tell him all the details but you just need him to take it off? Or does he need to be fully informed about it to fix it...? Can he even fix it if this Yamamoto wasn't on that world?

[ Zuko follows along in stride with Gokudera as they reach the training grounds, already starting to feel a bit better just seeing them. He's comfortable here. ]

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