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I can't!

[Gokudera is being so stubborn, but really, how is he even supposed to just ask? He has so many feelings towards Yamamoto that he can't even talk to him about anything basic. He's having a hard enough time not acknowledging the baseball idiot. He has to move out. Has to get space from him so he can think straight and stop feeling like he'll blow his own cover.]

I'll have him take it off eventually... I just... it's way harder to talk to him than you think. There's... a lot. It's... when I see him, he's not the same and I can hardly hold it all in...

[He puts his hands to his chest and hangs his head, sulking and thinking to himself that he had wished on Amoi that Tsuna or Yamamoto wouldn't get to see this version of himself. That he could just go home and forget that anything ever happened. But then he wouldn't have made his peace with Takeshi and found happiness.

It's clear what he needs to do. It's just the execution that's difficult.]

So have someone else take it off! What, are you just gonna avoid him from now on?! Avoid him and suffer spontaneously?!

[ He wraps a hand around his own neck for emphasis, imagining the thing sending those pain signals with some emotional discomfort of his own. Zuko's still pretty fixated on the beheading aspect in all this... Especially if the choker is not functioning as it should. That's why he's getting so cranky in response to Gokudera's stubbornness. And cuz he's... him. Cranky is what he does best. It's out of love, at least, this time. ]

I can't have someone else take it off!!! I would if I could!

Yeah! I'm gonna avoid him as much as I can! It's not like it's even that bad!

[The beheading would happen if someone other than Yamamoto tries to take it off. So. Yeah, he'll take those little pain or pleasure pulses instead of being beheaded. As for addressing Yamamoto ~~he's restricted while Cian is on hiatus~~, he has to steel himself!]

...So what're you gonna do with everything you'll keep pent up inside, then? You need more outlets than just piano and magic training.

[ He wears a stern look, an odd expression like the gears are already turning, searching for an actionable way to help. That's what his uncle would do. Find a way to outlet that energy. Combat training is much more than just that... with intentional philosophy and mindfulness behind it, it's therapeutic, too. Zuko's form is firmer, shifting his feet on the ground for a sturdier stance suddenly, as an idea comes to mind. ]

I was going to use my dynamite too, don't worry.

[He gives a gentle scoff and then narrows his eyes at the way Zuko shifts. What are they starting already? Gokudera feels like it's been too long since he tried out any of his magic.]

What, you going to try to kick me with fire again? [He takes a step back, grinning in an almost teasing manner. Gokudera knows the importance of fire to this guy, but if he's going to stand like that, the bomber isn't sure what to expect.]

No...

[ He knows it's a joke, but he still scowls. ]

You should do chi exercises. To outlet this shit.

Alright. How do I do that?

[He's still grinning. Poking fun at Zuko is enjoyable, even if he's scowling. Gokudera knows his friend meant well, so of course, he can't just accept that without giving him some form of hell to deal with in return.]

Roar.

[ He can give him hell right back. But he's not grinning — he's completely serious. ]

...

[He opens his mouth to reply, stops, reconsiders, scratches at his neck and then-]

What?

You heard me. Roar like a tigerdillo. Or, uh— what was it... A leopard. Do leopards roar?

[ He's not sure now. Faltering. But only barely, for semantics. ]

It's more like...a uh...

[He clears his throat and then starts to make a soft throaty noise before pushing his voice through.]

Raaauuugh. [It almost sounds like a chuff. Gokudera growls and rolls his 'r's enough anyways that it doesn't sound that weird. Maybe since it isn't accompanied by a word it may be strange. He even tries again.]

Rrrrrroaaauhhrr! [A little more breathy, but still soft, still testing.]

...Okay, not like that.

[ Do you see this flat face? That disarmed him... But he's got his dander back up quick enough. ]

Maybe not a leopard, but another animal that roars! Roar! A real roar! That didn't let anything out!

[Gokudera isn't putting any motion behind his attempts to mimic his leopard's roar. He looks confused.]

Oh, you want it loud? I can't really roar, you know that, right? Never have. [He's also never really tried, so there's that. Gokudera can be loud, though. No problem. The boy takes in a deep breath, pushes his shoulders back some, then-]

RRAWWWWWWWWWWHHHHR! [Ouch, that kind of hurt his throat. He coughs a bit, damn his unhealthy habits.]

Yeah! Like that!

[ Zuko grins, nodding. He strengthens his stance again, but this time splays his arms out, palms flat and open, outstretched firmly, his whole frame wide. ]

Okay, now do it again, but use your body this time! From your center!

[ What the hell does that mean?! ]

[Gokudera gives a soft roll of his eyes and a little huff of laughter before he's raising an eyebrow at the stance Zuko takes in front of him.]

Holding my arms out like that is supposed to help? Who roars from their entire body...

[He grumbles, the noise dissolving into a soft growl. He's gonna look stupid, surely.]

You, now. [ He shoots him a flat look, teasing, but continues with all his usual seriousness. ] Your chi pools in your stomach — that's your core. You're roaring from your throat or something. You want your lungs full of air, your diaphragm open, for maximum flow. Think less about the sound and more about the feeling — the goal is to push everything out...

[ Zuko closes his eyes briefly, lowering his hands to press them together calmly as he takes a deep breath, and then waves some odd rhythmic motions with his arms that bleed into that silly-looking pose he's asking the bomber to take, harkening back to those dancerly moves he used when they first met during their fight, elegant and practiced and steady. ]

Start like that — get your flow.

[ He does this odd wave of his arms again before they land outstretched again as they were, slower this time so Gokudera can mimic the movement. ]

My stomach...

[He looks even more doubtful about this. His stomach is his center of... everything. Always fucking hurting when it shouldn't and being way too sensitive a spot on his entire body.

And then Zuko is waving his arms about and Gokudera actively snorts laughter at how funny that movement looks.]

So you want me to wiggle in order to push the roar out? [He wonders just how many odd movements his friend puts into some other things. Gokudera is amused, but not dismissive. He puts his hands together and takes a deep breath, thinking of the yoga he'd taken up on Amoi. It wasn't very extensive, but it helped him be flexible. When he moves his arms out in a wave, it looks a bit too rigid. Next inhale, he brings them back, and then starts to move them with his exhale.]

Should I be faster? It feels like all this moving is a waste of energy.

Yeah, faster, it's all one motion, but you gotta be more fluid. You look too rigid. Relax. Some call the stomach "the sea of chi." So imagine your chi runs through you like a river, like many long tributaries, all going to and from your stomach, and your breath is the current that pushes that energy through your body.

[ He demonstrates a couple times more quickly as he speaks, spinning around as he does. He notes Gokudera's laughing a little, and while at first it catches Zuko off guard, surprisingly — or maybe not so much, because it's Gokudera — it causes Zuko to lighten up a little, himself. He knows Gokudera wasn't raised with the hyper-formal martial arts and meditation training that Zuko was, that Iroh's philosophies saturated their studies far beyond the actual material. This isn't the bomber's typical approach to training, talking about the tributaries inside himself in order to roar... It's certainly an unorthodox approach. And what does Zuko do best when he's unsure how to approach something? He mimics. Usually mimics Iroh, rather than Azula anymore, thankfully — and Iroh has a much better sense of humor than Zuko, too. So even if he didn't catch the humor back then when Iroh did this same lesson because he was so fixated on his own troubles then, he gets it now when it comes to helping someone else... and does that goofy arm-rolling thing, smirking at Gokudera expectantly to mimic him, too. ]

C'mon, loosen up like this. You've got to feel the flow...~

[ Ultimately, this is an exercise about helping Gokudera feel better. If he laughs — that's a good thing, too. Anyone else laughing at something so earnest and important, Zuko'd be annoyed. But Gokudera's his friend, and he's always liked the way they can joke, even here in this world. If Gokudera wasn't willing to wiggle before, things just got quite unexpectedly more wiggly. ]

Someone so good at fire, trying to describe something like a river seems ironic, doesn't it?

[Rather than watching the demonstration fully, Gokudera closes his eyes and moves easier, following his breathing, each inhale and exhale like waves flowing, and he's not roaring, just using this as a means of centering himself. Now that he's moving easily, it's more that he's trying to figure out how to make each motion end in that same arm extension he'd done while roaring. It isn't exactly what Zuko had done, but it feels right.]

No, you're mistaken— all the elements are connected. Uncle says the greatest illusion in life is that of separation. So I mean it — firebending, waterbending, Storm Flames, elemental magic, whatever — ... just focus your energy and how you channel it through yourself, from one arm to another, and feel the flow. Just like that.

[ Zuko watches on as Gokudera gets into it, smiling to himself as the bomber closes his eyes. He's always endeared by small things with Gokudera, it seems. ]

You said you think you got elemental magic as your secondary magic type, right? Try to make magic next time you roar. From your palms and from your mouth, if you can. Feel what you feel. Feel what you haven't been allowed to feel... And let it rush out of you.

[ Something about Zuko as a teacher, for all his softness, shows much that he's been raised by Iroh; and something about Zuko's style, for all his roughness, shows a lot about how Iroh must have taught him, too. ]

It was an observation made in jest.

[Gokudera replies as he opens his eyes just to roll them at Zuko's comment about the elements being connected. He knows they are, just thinks it's amusing for a firebender to liken something to water.

The next comment just has his mind reeling. Gokudera hasn't acknowledged much past his own fear. He knows he's allowed to be upset, knows that dwelling on his sadness will only hurt the people that care about him, and then that feeling morphs into guilt. More sadness. Gokudera keeps up the flow of his hands, his breathing, and keeps punctuating the motion with his hands held out, but there's no roar leaving him yet. For as much as everything has been weighing on him, he should be angry. But he hasn't thought about why.

It's too much to think about, so he focuses instead on his sadness, about how upset with himself he is. Gokudera grits his teeth in something of a snarl the next time he pushes his hands out, and there's a buzzing against his palms heat, and not even a bit of smoke, but there is a spark. It catches hi off guard and he pauses, looking down into his own palm.]

Gokudera! Was that— lightning?

[ Zuko's shocked, himself, eyes wide suddenly, the flash of a spark that he could've easily missed if he'd blinked at the wrong moment catching his attention and wiping that wistful smile right off his face. ]

I don't know... could have just been my light magic. You know... like little bursts of light or something...

[But usually, his own light magic is more tricks of the eye and last longer. Also, that's based more off intent. If he focuses on emotions for his elemental magic, then maybe it was lightning?

His collar is buzzing slightly, and he wonders if that's putting electricity in him or... something. The bomber is still of the odd opinion that he isn't entirely real. That there's some biomechanical parts to him he can't see. What if he breaks something? What if he hurts himself and then has to explain this all to the Tenth? He told his boss he'd take care of himself! Gokudera rubs his hands together and can feel an odd sort of static, but it's not something visible. Then, he moves his hand over his forearm and watches his hair stand up.]

Here, uh... Poke your finger against mine? [Maybe it's just static electricity and it'll be a little shock?]

[ Zuko eyes his finger curiously, glancing cautiously up to his eyes, before taking a step forward and reaching out as told, eyes drifting back to their hands as their fingertips meet... He's already thinking ahead, preparing himself mentally, spiritually, magically, to redirect the lightning if he needs to, waiting to feel how intense the shock may or may not be. It may not be big enough for him to worry about it reaching his heart, like lightningbending back home. But he's certainly expecting a shock. ]

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1/2; i'm CRYING with laughter

2/2

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