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It's more like...a uh...

[He clears his throat and then starts to make a soft throaty noise before pushing his voice through.]

Raaauuugh. [It almost sounds like a chuff. Gokudera growls and rolls his 'r's enough anyways that it doesn't sound that weird. Maybe since it isn't accompanied by a word it may be strange. He even tries again.]

Rrrrrroaaauhhrr! [A little more breathy, but still soft, still testing.]

...Okay, not like that.

[ Do you see this flat face? That disarmed him... But he's got his dander back up quick enough. ]

Maybe not a leopard, but another animal that roars! Roar! A real roar! That didn't let anything out!

[Gokudera isn't putting any motion behind his attempts to mimic his leopard's roar. He looks confused.]

Oh, you want it loud? I can't really roar, you know that, right? Never have. [He's also never really tried, so there's that. Gokudera can be loud, though. No problem. The boy takes in a deep breath, pushes his shoulders back some, then-]

RRAWWWWWWWWWWHHHHR! [Ouch, that kind of hurt his throat. He coughs a bit, damn his unhealthy habits.]

Yeah! Like that!

[ Zuko grins, nodding. He strengthens his stance again, but this time splays his arms out, palms flat and open, outstretched firmly, his whole frame wide. ]

Okay, now do it again, but use your body this time! From your center!

[ What the hell does that mean?! ]

[Gokudera gives a soft roll of his eyes and a little huff of laughter before he's raising an eyebrow at the stance Zuko takes in front of him.]

Holding my arms out like that is supposed to help? Who roars from their entire body...

[He grumbles, the noise dissolving into a soft growl. He's gonna look stupid, surely.]

You, now. [ He shoots him a flat look, teasing, but continues with all his usual seriousness. ] Your chi pools in your stomach — that's your core. You're roaring from your throat or something. You want your lungs full of air, your diaphragm open, for maximum flow. Think less about the sound and more about the feeling — the goal is to push everything out...

[ Zuko closes his eyes briefly, lowering his hands to press them together calmly as he takes a deep breath, and then waves some odd rhythmic motions with his arms that bleed into that silly-looking pose he's asking the bomber to take, harkening back to those dancerly moves he used when they first met during their fight, elegant and practiced and steady. ]

Start like that — get your flow.

[ He does this odd wave of his arms again before they land outstretched again as they were, slower this time so Gokudera can mimic the movement. ]

My stomach...

[He looks even more doubtful about this. His stomach is his center of... everything. Always fucking hurting when it shouldn't and being way too sensitive a spot on his entire body.

And then Zuko is waving his arms about and Gokudera actively snorts laughter at how funny that movement looks.]

So you want me to wiggle in order to push the roar out? [He wonders just how many odd movements his friend puts into some other things. Gokudera is amused, but not dismissive. He puts his hands together and takes a deep breath, thinking of the yoga he'd taken up on Amoi. It wasn't very extensive, but it helped him be flexible. When he moves his arms out in a wave, it looks a bit too rigid. Next inhale, he brings them back, and then starts to move them with his exhale.]

Should I be faster? It feels like all this moving is a waste of energy.

Yeah, faster, it's all one motion, but you gotta be more fluid. You look too rigid. Relax. Some call the stomach "the sea of chi." So imagine your chi runs through you like a river, like many long tributaries, all going to and from your stomach, and your breath is the current that pushes that energy through your body.

[ He demonstrates a couple times more quickly as he speaks, spinning around as he does. He notes Gokudera's laughing a little, and while at first it catches Zuko off guard, surprisingly — or maybe not so much, because it's Gokudera — it causes Zuko to lighten up a little, himself. He knows Gokudera wasn't raised with the hyper-formal martial arts and meditation training that Zuko was, that Iroh's philosophies saturated their studies far beyond the actual material. This isn't the bomber's typical approach to training, talking about the tributaries inside himself in order to roar... It's certainly an unorthodox approach. And what does Zuko do best when he's unsure how to approach something? He mimics. Usually mimics Iroh, rather than Azula anymore, thankfully — and Iroh has a much better sense of humor than Zuko, too. So even if he didn't catch the humor back then when Iroh did this same lesson because he was so fixated on his own troubles then, he gets it now when it comes to helping someone else... and does that goofy arm-rolling thing, smirking at Gokudera expectantly to mimic him, too. ]

C'mon, loosen up like this. You've got to feel the flow...~

[ Ultimately, this is an exercise about helping Gokudera feel better. If he laughs — that's a good thing, too. Anyone else laughing at something so earnest and important, Zuko'd be annoyed. But Gokudera's his friend, and he's always liked the way they can joke, even here in this world. If Gokudera wasn't willing to wiggle before, things just got quite unexpectedly more wiggly. ]

Someone so good at fire, trying to describe something like a river seems ironic, doesn't it?

[Rather than watching the demonstration fully, Gokudera closes his eyes and moves easier, following his breathing, each inhale and exhale like waves flowing, and he's not roaring, just using this as a means of centering himself. Now that he's moving easily, it's more that he's trying to figure out how to make each motion end in that same arm extension he'd done while roaring. It isn't exactly what Zuko had done, but it feels right.]

No, you're mistaken— all the elements are connected. Uncle says the greatest illusion in life is that of separation. So I mean it — firebending, waterbending, Storm Flames, elemental magic, whatever — ... just focus your energy and how you channel it through yourself, from one arm to another, and feel the flow. Just like that.

[ Zuko watches on as Gokudera gets into it, smiling to himself as the bomber closes his eyes. He's always endeared by small things with Gokudera, it seems. ]

You said you think you got elemental magic as your secondary magic type, right? Try to make magic next time you roar. From your palms and from your mouth, if you can. Feel what you feel. Feel what you haven't been allowed to feel... And let it rush out of you.

[ Something about Zuko as a teacher, for all his softness, shows much that he's been raised by Iroh; and something about Zuko's style, for all his roughness, shows a lot about how Iroh must have taught him, too. ]

It was an observation made in jest.

[Gokudera replies as he opens his eyes just to roll them at Zuko's comment about the elements being connected. He knows they are, just thinks it's amusing for a firebender to liken something to water.

The next comment just has his mind reeling. Gokudera hasn't acknowledged much past his own fear. He knows he's allowed to be upset, knows that dwelling on his sadness will only hurt the people that care about him, and then that feeling morphs into guilt. More sadness. Gokudera keeps up the flow of his hands, his breathing, and keeps punctuating the motion with his hands held out, but there's no roar leaving him yet. For as much as everything has been weighing on him, he should be angry. But he hasn't thought about why.

It's too much to think about, so he focuses instead on his sadness, about how upset with himself he is. Gokudera grits his teeth in something of a snarl the next time he pushes his hands out, and there's a buzzing against his palms heat, and not even a bit of smoke, but there is a spark. It catches hi off guard and he pauses, looking down into his own palm.]

Gokudera! Was that— lightning?

[ Zuko's shocked, himself, eyes wide suddenly, the flash of a spark that he could've easily missed if he'd blinked at the wrong moment catching his attention and wiping that wistful smile right off his face. ]

I don't know... could have just been my light magic. You know... like little bursts of light or something...

[But usually, his own light magic is more tricks of the eye and last longer. Also, that's based more off intent. If he focuses on emotions for his elemental magic, then maybe it was lightning?

His collar is buzzing slightly, and he wonders if that's putting electricity in him or... something. The bomber is still of the odd opinion that he isn't entirely real. That there's some biomechanical parts to him he can't see. What if he breaks something? What if he hurts himself and then has to explain this all to the Tenth? He told his boss he'd take care of himself! Gokudera rubs his hands together and can feel an odd sort of static, but it's not something visible. Then, he moves his hand over his forearm and watches his hair stand up.]

Here, uh... Poke your finger against mine? [Maybe it's just static electricity and it'll be a little shock?]

[ Zuko eyes his finger curiously, glancing cautiously up to his eyes, before taking a step forward and reaching out as told, eyes drifting back to their hands as their fingertips meet... He's already thinking ahead, preparing himself mentally, spiritually, magically, to redirect the lightning if he needs to, waiting to feel how intense the shock may or may not be. It may not be big enough for him to worry about it reaching his heart, like lightningbending back home. But he's certainly expecting a shock. ]

[Get ready

for the weakest little zap ever. It feels like the snap of a rubber band and Gokudera draws his finger back, looking at it and then feeling even more nervous about roaring. What if it is lightning?! And he hurts someone?!]

We- uh... we should stop.

You have lightning power!

[ He's so animated about this, oh no, Zuko... But Zuko hasn't even managed lightning yet! Not that he's some expert Avatar with his magic types yet, but he'd hope at least his native elements would be available to him... He'd been having so much trouble with fire that he didn't even consider fully that he could do lightning independently. It's so ingrained in his mind that lightningbending (and bending-adjacent) powers are tip-top tier, Azula and Ozai-level stuff beyond his capacity, something he needed to learn to defend himself from rather than learn himself... He knows it's not the same, but it's such an impressive and rare feat in his culture that he can't help his amazement. ]

No, no! Don't stop! I can redirect lightning! Back home— Uncle taught me how... And here, I have siphoning magic now! I, uh— I don't know how to use it yet, but practice is practice! It's fine, keep going! I mean— try not to shoot me, but uh...

[ He readies his stance to redirect and defend himself just in case, a look of pure determination and excitement on his face. Crazy prince. ]

Do it again! Make lightning!

[Gokudera looks down at his hand, and he's frowning heavily. He has a bad feeling about this. If he's been altered by Amoi or Anchor and he's got implants that interact with his collar... his heart... what if this hurts him more? It's scary. Everything he's seen about lightning flames from his own world (at least with Lambo) presented themselves when under emotional distress. Roaring and letting his emotions get the best of him helped produce this, right? It's not so much rage and anger and destruction making fire, or a relentless focus of storm, pressures crashing around him, but it's internalized. He's been a metaphorical lightning rod for so many problems. If he has any reputation in Avalon at all, it's probably that he's regularly in some kind of distress.

but if Zuko knows how to redirect lightning... maybe he can help.]

Fine.

[He'll just... cross that bridge when he gets to it. Gokudera moves his arms, thinks about all the negativity that's been weighing on him and how it hurts and it's tiring, and he wants it all to stop. He wants to be able to focus on his happiness and for this all to just go away. Gokudera thrusts his arms out.]

Raau- Ahhhh!!

[Okay, so it could be louder, but there is lightning jumping out of his palms and there would be sparks coming from his mouth, too, but instead it's smoke, tears on his face and he stops almost as soon as he starts, falling to one knee, hand on the ground, and the other on his collar, at the back of his neck. His face is hidden as he tries to catch his breath. That was too raw and now his throat hurts and his body is remembering how he'd been beaten and tortured with electricity by the Millefiore. He's shaking, trying not to mentally process any of it.]

[ Zuko's eyes are wide with amazement as the lightning begins to emanate from the boy's palms, satisfied with the product of his roar finally, but as soon as he sees smoke, he knows something's wrong. He sees Gokudera's face shift and immediately alarms are going off in his mind before he's even registering what's happening. In his world, being able to bend lightning requires utmost mental calm and control, which is why it's so rare; there are so few cold-blooded killers out there. It's quite the opposite — one can't effectively bend lightning from being upset, one must be composed, impeccably so, which is what has always terrified him about Azula and their father. But this world doesn't follow those models and he forgets that sometimes because... well... his worldview can only stretch so far without stopping and thinking. And when does Zuko do that? He's impulsive and excitable and brash and believes entirely in his friend's power.

Too much, though. He just encouraged Gokudera to do something dangerous without even considering that the bomber could electrocute himself, and now he's wrought with fear and guilt and worry. ]

Gokudera!!!

[ He bellows. When the boy falls to his knees, Zuko's right there, rushing over in a split second to hold him in his arms. Iroh's always told Zuko he doesn't think things through. He feels that distinctly right now, face painted with fear for his friend. ]

[Oddly enough, considering how often he smokes cigarettes, this smoke curling out of his mouth is scary. It tastes like iron, reminds him of when he set his heart on fire, the pain of having to forcefully separate himself. That same smoke came from his lungs when he was revived. His throat hurts. He feels arms around him, but does not seem to realize he's being touched.

He'd merely shocked his collar, but there is some part of him that wonders if there is something else, some implant or device in him that has conducted the electricity or amplified it. He's upset.

He shouldn't have roared. Gokudera coughs and keeps his eyes closed as he replies softly.]

I'm alright... just give... give me a minute...

[ Zuko's brow is quivering with worry, knotted so tight together it hurts, his eyes wide and panicked as he holds his friend up. He places a hand on his back when Gokudera coughs, swallowing hard. ]

I shouldn't have pressed you on— You told me to stop... I should've listened... I didn't think—!

Edited 2021-06-12 16:21 (UTC)

[Gokudera lets out a groan and opens his eyes, tipping his head to the side and looking at Zuko through his fringe.]

Zuko?

[This sucks and neither of them knew this would happen. Honestly, Gokudera's mad at himself. It probably wouldn't have been so bad if he would have his collar removed, if he were more focus and not so emotional. There's a lot of should and shouldn'ts going on.]

[ Gokudera may be mad at himself, but Zuko's far madder at his own self. He's trying to keep his own calm, but he can feel his breath quickening and his heart pounding in his chest. He can't help but think back to the moment he held Iroh in his arms after Azula electrocuted him, feeling that familiar fear, that literal shock, that he felt that day in the Earth Kingdom. But this time, it was entirely his fault, he feels. Zuko feels so stupid and brazen. He'd been gung-ho. Too eager to be impressed with his friend beyond good reason. Too eager to help his friend, so much it hurt him. When Gokudera opens his eyes to look at him and says his name, he feels relief, but not much. He unconsciously brushes the hair from Gokudera's eyes, his own still reading all the guilt and worry he's overwhelmed with. ]

Gokudera, can you stand...? Do you— Should we get a healer?!

[ His eyes scan the training grounds quickly, but return to his friend soon enough, casing the scene. Surely there's a medic around somewhere. ]

[Gokudera was going to tell him to shut up, but then there is a hand moving the hair out of his face and that's so close and he's flushing some and moves to stand.]

Yeah. No. I'm fine. Just startled myself. It uh went through my collar so... I'm fine.

[Honestly, he just feels rattled, even if it seems he's smoking without a cigarette. Gokudera gets up easily, places a hand on Zuko's shoulder.]

You were just trying to help me work through all my problems. It's not like you knew this would happen.

I shouldn't have assumed it'd be like bending lightning! I just— didn't think about it!

[ He feels somehow stricken when Gokudera places his hand on his shoulder, like this forgiveness came too easily. Zuko's placing a lot more symbolism about himself and his own tendencies on this problem, just as he did when he'd attacked Gokudera their first meeting, and that gentle hand on his shoulder just sears those feelings a little more. He abruptly bows deeply, stiffly, from the waist, eyes downcast beneath a furrowed brow. Absolutely unnecessarily formal out of nowhere, but feels like it conveys his remorse about egging the bomber on recklessly. And what all else that represents to him. ]

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1/2; i'm CRYING with laughter

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wanna wrap up here?