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[And honestly, Hikaru appreciates it. He's miserable and he knows he looks it but he doesn't need attention brought to that fact.] He wasn't in bed this morning and I woke up three hours ago. I texted him and called, it just rung and rung and rung. Kaoru wouldn't keep me waiting like this and I can feel he's not here because I know when he's here and he isn't!

[His eyes are welling up again and he isn't really ashamed. Both him and Zuko have gone through enough.]

It's never happened like this! Where the hell did he go? Is he back home? Is he in some other world? Is he okay?! I don't know and I'm supposed to know! [He's bashing his fist against the wall now because he's angry and upset. Something he knows Zuko is very used to.]

[ Zuko's face is awash with pained empathy, watching Hikaru's seams start to come undone a bit, stitch by stitch, as he goes on explaining. His eyes follow Hikaru's fist against the wall, and closes his eyes at the sound of the pound. He knows this feeling — he's hit this point so, so many times in his life. He can't relate to what Hikaru's going through, but... he can relate to the intensity. And that prompts him to do something about it. Zuko can sit and talk, but above all, he's a doer. So just after Hikaru's fist beats against the wall, Zuko's hand around his wrist is right behind it. It's a gentle hold, but firm enough; the look in Zuko's eyes as he looks back up to meet Hikaru's is far firmer, though. Heartfelt, still — but intentional. ]

...C'mon. Let's talk outside.

[ He noticed the door to a balcony a ways off, and figures the sunshine and fresh air are very important, taking a wild guess that Hikaru may have just stayed inside all morning, trashing his apartment. It's a better space to be in, outside. If he'll let him, Zuko will tug Hikaru along a bit, moving toward the balcony, but he lets his wrist go pretty quickly after making his direction known. He opens the door and stands by it politely to let Hikaru pass first before closing it behind them both. ]

[Hikaru can't remember the last time he had been this emotional. It's probably never happened. While he's the emotional type, he's a spoiled rich boy. There's been some bad things that have happened to him but not quite like this. Even when he first arrived to Prismatica, realizing he didn't have Kaoru, he was never quite this bad. But now not knowing where Kaoru is, if he's home or some worse world. He's never felt this intense before. Out of fear and anger and so many other emotions he doesn't know the name of.

But when he feels Zuko's hand on his wrist, it does make him listen and just nod, silently, and go outside. He puts his hands on the balcony and stares out.]

What if Kaoru didn't go home? What if he's somewhere else? Somewhere worse? Or he...I don't know. I don't know and I've never not known. At least before, back when I first got to Prismatica? I knew he was home, safe. But now I don't know that, Zuko.

[His voice is barely above a squeak at that point, starting to cry.]

[ Zuko is quiet, standing beside him and staring out the balcony just the same. But after a beat, once Hikaru's composure starts to slip again, he takes a step closer and puts his arm around the other's shoulders gently, continuing to stare out ahead. He takes a moment to speak, to consider his words, but when he finds them, he's intentional to speak with a tempered tone, slowly and ruminatively. ]

...I think—... There are many Kaoru's. Many versions of Kaoru. Like— how Gokudera didn't remember Lunatia, only his home, but then woke up one day with all these memories of some other worlds he was on. I knew another version of him. It was still him, but— ...stupid time and space stuff, y'know. But— a-anyway— what I mean is... There's a version of Kaoru that's safe at home, and that's the real Kaoru, too. That's the realest Kaoru, kinda, right?

[ Zuko feels like he's talking out of his ass, even though he knows he's speaking from the heart; but it's not like he understands any of this timey-wimey wibbly-wobbly shit, either. He can't help but be reminded of the first time he'd tried to comfort Hikaru about Kaoru's absence, so long ago when they first got trapped in the bubble. It's a bit similar. But so, so, so much has changed since then... At least he has a better understanding of how the universe works by now, not that he understands it at all. ]

[Hikaru prefers touch, always being in touch with Kaoru. They were always hanging all over each other and so he's happy to have Zuko near because without his twin, that source is gone. He has Taichi but Taichi just got a theater and has all his friends from his world. Taichi's busy and even Hikaru knows that Taichi can't just stop everything. he's thankful for Zuko honestly.

Even with that explanation. Since learning about the fact there were different worlds, these different kinds of people with different backgrounds and experiences. Hikaru is a conspiracy theorist, of course he knows this is possible.]

I hate thinking about that crap and it doesn't change that the Kaoru I know is gone and who knows where he is? Or that some other Kaoru is hurt right now. Or even dead but I don't know. [And that's the most frustrating part.] Kaoru and I always know. I've always had him and I...don't know how to go on without him. [And that sounds serious and it is because he doesn't. How is he supposed to do anything without Kaoru?]

He's my twin? He's my...everything.

I know. ...I know.

[ Zuko isn't sure what to say, knowing there's not much he can say, tone thickening with empathy as his search for words fails, and he just tightens his arm around Hikaru some, lowering his lashes in thought and glancing away from the boy even as he draws him nearer. ]

...You'll go on, though. You guys may have shared everything, but— you can't share a destiny. I know it doesn't help to hear it. But you're your own person, Hikaru — you have your own destiny. And Kaoru's still a part of it, even when he's not here. You'll see each other again.

[ This much he feels certain of. ]

[That isn't what he wants to hear but he also knows it's true. He knows them having to have their own lives is something that Kaoru worried about time to time (though he has no idea just how much it weighs on Kaoru's mind...and he may never.). Though Hikaru isn't too concerned about that part.]

Maybe but our destinies are still supposed to be together. I mean, back in Lunatia, I was without him for a month. Then here he was without me for a month. But I just have this feeling he's not going to be here again.

[He leans against Zuko and grips the banister tighter.] I don't even know what to do without him. Kaoru and I were going to start a new high fashion line here and it doesn't feel right if I did that on my own.

[ Zuko's brow knots when he hears Hikaru's gut feeling that the twins won't be reunited this time. He doesn't have anything to say to that. No one else would know better; it's not just Hikaru being fatalistic, maybe. But when he leans in closer, Zuko just tightens his arm around his shoulders and leans in too, providing what little comfort he can. And he knows it's very little. He keeps his own eyes fixed forward still, watching the scene below lazily as he chews all this over, and speaks more carefully than usual. ]

I think—... ...I think Kaoru would want you to keep designing, Hikaru. Or— d-doing something. Making art, making money, doing whatever makes you a little bit happy sometimes. I can't speak for him, and only you'd know how he'd feel; but I knew Kaoru, too, and if he is in some other world again, then— I think he'd rather imagine you creating your own things here, even if you're without him, rather than imagining you alone, furiously trashing your apartment.

[ It's not a dig. Zuko's furiously trashed his own apartment before, too, after all — Hikaru and Kaoru even helped clean it up once. He's trying to be gentler than he may usually be, but he's still going to speak plainly. He glances over to Hikaru to gauge his reaction on that, uncertain in its impact, but pretty certain in his intention. He's sure of his sentiment, just not his delivery. ]

[Hikaru does truly listen to Zuko because he's absolutely right that Kaoru wouldn't want him to just stop doing anything. Kaoru would want him to keep designing but Hikaru doesn't think he can keep doing fashion.]

You're right but I can't imagine doing our designs without him. Everything we've designed, all of the ideas...they're ours. And doing any fashion without him doesn't feel right. I can find something else to do, I've got ideas, but...not that.

[And he does try to make a joke:] And probably anything that doesn't have me making a mess of our place.

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