[He can only tell the Tenth so much. He trusts him, but worries so much about judgement... that the Tenth will be repulsed by everything Gokudera has gone through. He hates himself for everything that has happened to him.

It's awful. Gokudera slides his hands up along his temples and gives a trembling inhale, trying to figure out what to explain first.]

The world you were in before this. You had to physically touch to stay alive. I was in a planet where you had to have sex to keep the planet alive. That's not even the worst of it...

[Time for him to admit the most stupid and horribly sad part of it all.]

Everyone was divided into one of two castes based off of their hair color. Dark hair... black, blue, green, or brown were Elites, and light hair, silver, white, blonde, red, pink... they were mongrels. I was in that world for two years and as a mongrel it was illegal for me to be around the Elite. Touching them was illegal. On that planet, my family was there. And not a single one of them could be near me.

[Please read between the lines, Zuko. Don't make Gokudera tell you outright that he had to sleep with strangers to survive.]

I met Yamamoto, did he do anything? No. Mukuro? No. Hibari? No... I haven't seen the Tenth in so long, and I can't face him. And I've met... [His eyes dart as he thinks of how many -including his trips home- different versions of his friends he's met.]

Five different Yamamoto's and I... [The outer corners of his eyes go red, but there aren't any tears in his eyes. Instead, Gokudera stares into the cappuccino Zuko had ordered for him. There isn't even steam coming off it.]

I don't know what to do. I'm disgust-

[Part of his collar glows red and burns him, but he doesn't even react, just gives a grunt.]

-ing and that's just the first world...